October 30, 2002 - 9:53 am

i was supposed to go see the movie "circuit" last night but instead i just hung out at a friends house and showed 3 of my good friends (including roger) my boobies.

roger has this thing about boobies, where he totally freaks out and it's soooo much fun to watch him squirm.

(i'm anticipating eli calling me tonight and telling me that he's really squirmy around boobies too. not falling for that one, sweetie).

basically every time roger starts to get on my nerves i just have to grab the bottom of my shirt and he begs me not to flash him.

i had never done it before, just always threatened him. but, last night i did it.

he wasn't bothering me or anything, we were just talking about nipples and abby knows that mine are light brown and roger didn't know that girls can have light brown nipples.

okay, before i get a phone call from eli asking how abby knows that my nipples are light brown (abby is a lesbian) i have to explain this.

see, i have light brown nipples. when i was a little girl, i thought all girls did. however, one day i saw a white girls boobies and hers were PINK!

instantly, i start thinking that there is something wrong with me: 'wait! if she's got pink nipples, then mine must be rotten or something. maybe i have some sort of nipple fungus! aughhh'

thankfully, i wasn't another victim of that rotten nipple fungus disease, i was just latina.

abby and amy know this story, they still laugh at me about it. that's how abby knew what color they were.

(okay, honey?).

so i had to show roger some brown nipples. i swear, he's got to be the luckiest man on earth, because, people, my boobies are nice.

they're not very huge (well-filled b-cup), but trust me, they are absolutely perfect in every other way.

they don't sag.

they're not lumpy.

i don't have inverted nipples.

or hairy ones.

they don't hang off to the sides, practically under my armpits.

they are perfect.

just like the rest of me, right? RIGHT??!!?

so yeah, that's one of the things i did last night.

i also made fun of trishelle on the real world.

here's my idea of her parents right after she was born. (start hick accents now)

trishelle's mommy: honey i'm fixin to name this little bundle 'trisha', i sure do like 'trisha'. it's a purty name, for a purty girl like this one.

trishelle's daddy: weeeeelll, i was doin' me some thinkin' and i sure am a bit partial to 'michelle'. i always said, if i do end up marryin' my cousin then i'ma name the little girl we have michelle.

trishelle's mommy: that's so sweet honey, you always know just how to charm a woman. heeeeeeeeeeeeeey, i got an idear. how 'bout we name this critter 'trishelle', that way we can both be happy.

trishelle's daddy: well, i'll be. i married you cuz you had a purty mouth, but dagnamit, someone should have told me you were smart as a whip too!

trishelle's mommy: awwww, shucks mordecai. i'm blushing. well, 'trishelle' it is.

(end hick accent).

and then she grew up to be a ho.

in other news, we have now nicknamed roger "carpet muncher". why, you say, would we nickname our gay friend a "carpet muncher"? well, because he got bonerfied with one of the men who plays a "rug" in a musical. we are obviously a very classy group of people.

Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park