January 20, 2003 - 2:53 pm

hmm, girls are weird.

so sweta, stayed at my place for most of this weekend after we stayed at her place in berkeley on friday night.

sunday morning was when i got my facial.

first of all let me say that i have not washed my face at all since yesterday morning and it still feels quite nice, so i think it worked.

secondly, i hated it. following is a loose transcription of how the morning went.

annie: okay, normally i just use this scrub every once in awhile and leave it on for like 5 minutes before i take a shower.

sweta: great. we're not doing that now.

annie: ooookay.

sweta: go rinse your face off.

annie: do i need soap?

sweta: no, just water.

annie: do i dry it? (i'm really clueless at this people)

sweta: yes, use your handtowel.

annie: okay.

sweta: now where do you want to lie down?

annie: i have to lie down?

sweta: yes, how else am i going to massage your face?

annie: WHAT??? you're going to massage my face?

sweta: yes, how did you think this was going to happen?

annie: i didn't know that. i figured we'd each do our own faces. i didn't know we had to do eachother's faces. i thought there was a specific order to all this. do our OWN faces. then we like have a pillow fight while we're jumping on the bed in skimpy pj's. isn't that how we're supposed to do it??? what kind of a slumber party is this?

sweta: yes, i think that IS the order, but we're doing it like this instead. are you one of those people who hates having their face touched?

annie: no, i'm one of those people who's never had their face touched, at least not in terms of getting a face massage.

sweta: oh just relax. besides, if you don't want to, you don't have to do my face.

annie: fine.

sweta: now let me put the milk in the microwave.

annie: milk?

sweta: yes, for the massage.

annie: you're going to use my milk? well, how much do you need? i'm not rich, you know. i can barely afford milk to drink right now, i'm not sure i can afford to run around splashing my face with it.

sweta: oh shut up. i just need like a shot glass full.

annie: ugh, fine.

sweta then goes in my room and puts a towel over my pillow. she rolls my desk chair over to the edge after setting my clock radio on to a classical music station. she really takes this shit pretty seriously.

sweta: do you have any candles?

annie: what? are you serious? no, we're not lighting candles.

sweta: fine, lie down.

annie: ehhhhh

sweta: oh calm down, just relax.

i lie down.

reluctantly.

she then proceeds to pour milk into her hands, rub them together and then massage my face while i'm lying on my back.

sweta: annie, put your knees down. relax.

annie: sorry! sorry, i'm just not used to this.

2 minutes later

sweta: are you relaxed now?

annie: yeah, a little more than before.

sweta: OH MY GOD! WOULD YOU STOP GRIPPING THE BLANKETS, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE RELAXED!

annie: i'm SORRY!! ehhhhhh.

sweta: shut up.

2 minutes later.

sweta: are you relaxed?

annie: um, yeah (meaning-no, not at all)

short period of time passes. sweta pours a couple of drops of milk on my forehead.

annie: EWWW, there's milk in my EAR!!!

sweta: (giggling) oh, oops, sorry.

more time passes.

annie: is the milk supposed to stink like this?

sweta: it doesn't stink. maybe you're smelling something else.

annie: no, i'm pretty sure, it's the milk.

sweta: RELAX!

i'm thinking to myself that it's really hard to relax when 1) she keeps asking me if i'm relaxed 2) the milk stinks 3) i've never had someone touch my face so much before and 4) i feel like an idiot with dry stinking milk on my face.

sweta: alright, go wash it off. next is steaming.

now, the 'steaming' portion of the facial consists of sweta boiling some water, throwing a chamomile teabag into it and then me holding my head over the pot with a towel over my head so that the steam won't escape.

but that doesn't matter, all i was thinking was that in addition to wasting a shot glass of milk, i was now going to be throwing away perfectly good tea.

annie: sweta, don't you ever feel silly when you're doing this stuff?

sweta: NO! will you relax about it already?! why would i feel silly?

annie: i don't know, milk on the face, holding your head over a pot of tea?

anyhow, the steaming portion wasn't so bad. then it was exfoliating scrub.

once again, i was back on the bed and she was massaging the honey scrub into my face.

sweta: annie, PUT YOUR KNEES DOWN!

annie: SO-RRY! SORRY! SHEESH.

annie: at least i'm not gripping the blankets any more.

sweta: oh, shut up.

this was the second to the last step. next was the mud mask, once again she put it on me.

sweta: how does this feel?

annie: cold.

sweta: but isn't it soothing?

annie: and cold and wet.

sweta: is it tingly?

annie: nope. just cold and wet.

then we fell asleep with our mud masks on. after i woke up and washed it off i had to admit that my skin did feel nicer. but i dont think it felt 2 hours worth of massaging/steaming/exfoliating/mud-masking nicer, just a little nicer.

in conclusion, i was pretty excited about facials before. i was looking forward to doing something girly. i will probably never let anyone come near my face again. too stressful. will i give myself facials in the future? maybe, probably.

it was one of the most exciting things that's happened to my feminine side in months.

i puked out estrogen this morning.

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