December 31, 2003 - 1:07 pm

my intelligent yet impressionable 18 year old sister is here visiting me from costa rica. i love having her around and we've spent the last few nights giggling about really silly shit.

for example, while staying in our tiny hotel room in vancouver we decided to watch X-men on tv. i then asked her that if she could have a super power, what would it be?

bean jr.: i would want to be able to move things with my mind.

bean sr.: you can't have that. Jean Grey already has that. you need to come up with something original and then we have to come up with a name for you.

bean jr.: hmm, i have to think.

bean sr.: see, for example. in college when i went to go see this movie in the theatres, Russell decided his power was going to be to control birds. his name was, birdboy.

bean jr.: wow, you're good at naming.

bean sr.: shut-up. so what's your power?

jr.: i don't know i haven't thought of one yet. What's yours?

sr.: I asked you first!

jr.: okay! oh! i know! my power is to make things appear out of nowhere.

sr.: oooh, that's a good one!

jr.: what's yours?

sr.: well since i'm your sister, my power is going to be the ability to make things disappear!

jr.: what? you copied me!

sr.: no i didn't. but this is awesome. see if you're in a fight with someone but have no weapon, your mutation would give you the power to make one appear. And if i'm mad at you because, say, you used all my good tampons, my mutation would give me the power to make that weapon disappear. it's perfect! we could fight on opposite sides. You could be on Professor Xavier's side and i'll be on magneto's side! brilliant!

jr.:(staring blankly) i think you're getting carried away with this.

my sister kicks ass.

the only thing that i am concerned about is that every dude who knows me and finds out that she's 18 wants to know what she looks like.

yeah, in like, a sexual way.

she may be 18 but she looks like she's 13.

(that's probably not making it any better is it?)

seriously, 13. everywhere we've gone in canada, she got in for the kids price. no questions asked, not even a suspicious look.

she's still costing me a fortune though. one of these days i'm going to stop spending like zsa zsa gabor and realize that i'm actually poor with decent credit. that's it. there's really no money involved.

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I bought eli lots of cool presents for christmas that included:

1. A combo DVD/VCR player

2. The City of Lost Children dvd

3. Miller's Crossing dvd

4. Lies and the lying liars who tell them book by Al Franken

5. Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club band cd

and i think that's it. i'm such a rad girlfriend (once again, spending like zsa zsa)

today i'm going shopping with my little sister. (oh relax already! zsa zsa didn't go to mervyn's alright!)

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it snowed while we were in Canada. being from southern california, i couldn't contain my excitement. i wanted to make snow angels even though there was only 1/16 of an inch of snow. i didn't care man! i was totally ready! mud angels galore! i bet i could have made some good ones...

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(disclaimer: this is not meant to hurt ...oh whatever, take it any way you want, i could care less)

tonight is the last night in 2003. i hate new years eve. i've never really been big on this day and pretty much see it as any other day. the only difference is that a bunch of fat people like to get together on this day and swear (again) that they're going to lose weight. pfft, heard that one before. it's only a matter of weeks before your back in the chocolate ho ho's honey, give it a rest.

but it's not just our thinly challenged friends. everyone goes around making dumb resolutions that maybe about 0.004 percent of us actually keep. it's so fucking annoying and what's especially annoying is that people attempt to convince others that they're "serious this time" and then act as if nothing happened when (as i mentioned above) they're back in the ho ho's.

what about me?????

i was the one that had to sit there and listen while you spent all of 3 hours convincing me how you were going be more frugal this year. 3 hours i had to pretend to be interested in your discussion of how you had it all planned out and how this was soooo different from past years and how you really believe that not enough people follow through with their new year's resolutions. "no accountability!" you said. "people need to stick to their word, after all if you don't have a solid word, then what kind of a person are you?"

(hmm, you?)

finally, i have to agree with you so that you'll shut up and leave me alone. but then! who do i run into at bed bath and beyond buying some useless foot massage/nail clipping/toe yoga kit?

you.

i hate you.

everyone.

so i'm not going to wish anyone a happy new year, because realistically it probably won't be that much different from the last.

same shit, different year. there's really not that much to look forward to.

more time to sleep? yeah, i guess so.

but other than that, not much else.

Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park