January 21, 2004 - 11:04 am
I never expected to get the phone call I got last night. All of a sudden everything happening in my life was insignificant and all I could think about was you and how I was never going to get the chance to meet you.
Iím sure you would have been a great person. Iím sure I would have loved you and spoiled you with everything I had just like Iíve always done with your big brother. I was going to start knitting you a blanket this Sunday, it was going to be blue and white.
Your mom would have loved you like crazy. I know this because I know she was already falling in love with you. Every time I spoke with her she was so excited. Just a couple of weeks ago when she called me and told me you were going to be a boy I realized I had never heard her happier.
Your dad was so nervous, but the good nervous. He had never had a baby before and now there was this little boy growing in a belly that was half of him. He would have been a great dad. Iím not saying he wouldnít have been strict, because he definitely would have. But Iím sure you would have realized one day, as all kids do, that he did it because he loved you.
Your big brother was already talking about sharing a room with you. He went pretty nuts when he found out you were going to be a boy. Heís a really generous and caring boy. Iím sure he would have protected you with all heís got and let you use his Bionicles.
Truth is, I can only imagine that it wasnít your time to come, maybe later. I canít say that youíre missing out on that much though. Thereís all kinds of bad stuff happening down here and it looks like itís going to be that way for the next four years.
Although it seems like you werenít ready for the world, I donít think it was ready for you. Sometimes God changes his mind and decides not to send someone who he originally thought would be good for us, I think thatís why he decided to take you back. He still needed you for something. Weíll be ok.
Rest in Peace Baby,
Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park