April 12, 2004 - 1:47 pm

canadian men have done it to me again.

why is it that i'm obsessed with all things canadian? i originally thought that this was all brought on by my last boyfriend but no, i realize now that he merely enhanced my love for our northern neighbors.

so my obession with hockey has taken a turn for the -hm, i don't want to say worse...

a turn for the more dramatic?

no. okay, i give up.

my obsession with hockey has taken a TURN!

see, i went to another game last week. but this time it was (as many of you know) the playoffs.

the san jose sharks vs. the st. louis blues. hot damn, wasn't this the most exciting game? it was, methinks.

and, AND (that's right it's a big "AND") our seats were

right

on the

GLASS.

fuck yeah.

people were getting slammed right in front of me and it was exhilirating.

i'm thinking perhaps i have some pent up aggression and watching large men get crunched is somehow displaced catharsis.

but that's not it. i've also fallen in love with a hockey player.

that's right, i'm in love.

oh sure, we've never actually spoken to each other but trust me. he's in love too.

and i'm excited because someday we'll be married and i'm going to be Annie Cheechoo.

yes, Jonathan Cheechoo, #14, Shark's RW. Originally from Moose Factory, Ontario. Member of the Moose Cree First Nation.

and he hunts. or at least he did hunt. i'm not sure how bountiful moose is in San Jose, California.

because i'm single and the only thing i pretty much have right now in terms of a romantic life is my imagination, i've come up with the perfect scenario.

see, cheechoo's mom is a teacher. and while i'm not a "teacher" per se, i am an educator, sort of. and since i will be spending some more time in San Jose in the future, i'm figuring eventually we'll meet, provided i do a little research (research=stalking) and we will eventually become friends.

and then he'll ask me out of course because i'm so goddamn fucking irresistible.

so here's what'll happen. and i'm totally fucking serious about this so don't laugh.

i'll be the envy of all the girls (because i'm not the first to recognize the hotness that is cheechoo) and one day, say during the playoffs a couple years from now. i'll be at his game banging on the glass with my face painted teal and black and wearing those silly shimmery pom poms in my hair, when out of nowhere, some dumbass will shoulder check my baby and not get a penalty for it (despite the fact that i think i heard his scapula crack).

and then, all of a sudden everyone will look up near the scoreboard at the screens and there it will say "annie, i love you. will you marry me?"

and i'll look over at him and jump up and down and scream yes and he'll skate on over to me holding his limp arm and then we'll kiss through the glass (leaving a lovely teal and black faceprint from yours truly).

and we'll live happily ever after.

or maybe not.

but a girl can dream.

besides i've driven all my close friends crazy talking about cheechoo non-stop since last week. so i need to share it here also, maybe now i'll shut up.

i have therapy tonight, i think i need to examine this.

Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park