January 20, 2005 - 4:56 pm
A wise man once said to me "There are many things..."
Okay, so maybe I should add that it was a stoned wise man. Nonetheless, I had to agree.
Because I, too, was stoned. However, today I would like to add my own sober addendum to that statement. From now on, this wise saying will be "There are many things...but few as good as Popeye's Barbeque sauce and buttery biscuits". It's brilliant and it's 100% God's truth, I tell you.
Speaking of God, his tool was inaugurated again today. I can't tell you how happy I am. No, I mean it. I literally can't tell you, because there is not a happy cell in my body.
My cells are sad. :( Sad Cells (whimper, whimper).
My cells won't be sad for long though. See pretty soon, we'll get attacked again and there will be no room for sadness. I'll be pissed.
Please, I don't claim to know everything. I know I'm not informed on all issues affecting our nation and the world but indulge me here. Play along while I wax political. Our President seems to get away with it pretty well, maybe I can too.
I apologize for sounding so harsh but when one of our major cities gets attacked again I will be angry at all those people who voted for Bush. I will scream out that YOU condemned us to death. That you who cast a vote for that mindless clown sentenced us to experience another tragedy. So when that happens, do me a favor and don't even bother going to church or praying or asking "Why, God? Why?" because I've got your answer.
Because you voted for him. That's why.
I preemptively blame you, Middle America. Please remember that. When people are crying in the streets, when families are looking for loved ones. When September 11th happens all over again, it will be YOUR fault.
Many of you voted for Bush because you feel he'll help deliver us from evil. Many of you are scared, really scared. I mean these "turrorists" don't like that you're free. That's why they want to hurt you. Trust me, you've got a right to be scared. If I were a "turrorist", I wouldn't target major financial centers or historical landmarks. I wouldn't be making efforts to destabilize our economy. You know what I'd go after? I would target YOUR dairy farm, Jedidiah. I'd target the local Dairy Queen where Amberlyn just got hired. I'd know how to hit America where it hurts. Oh yes, I would.
It's sad that the people who are most scared in this nation are those who are least likely to get hurt. The people who don't buy into this scare tactic bullshit, who are working for peace and change will be the ones who pay the price.
Sadly, here we go again.
Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park