July 22, 2002 - 1:01 pm
well, what do you fucking know, someone dropped me. i knew it would happen.
it's okay. i'm not hurt. ::sniff, sniff:: i'll be fine. don't you worry about me. i'm just fine. i am ::sob, sob:: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA
on a happier note, the next time i go visit my folks i'm going to do a dance for them. that's right, a dance. or as my boyfriend would tell me to call it, a number. i'm going to do a special interepretive dance to House of Pain's "jump around" to show my excitement at being reunited with my family who i haven't seen since january. i think my favorite part to interpret is going to be the following verse.
"i'll serve your ass like john macenroe
if you're girl steps up i'm smacking the ho
word to your mom's i came to drops bombs
i got more rhymes than the bible's got psalms"
yeah, i plan on pretending to play tennis in my living room for the first line and when he says "john macenroe" i'm going to pretend to fling my imaginary racket at my dad.
then i'll pretend to be a little ho and i'll be all stepping up and then i'm going to get all flipped out pimp style and pretend to bitch slap my little sister. (because it would look silly if i tried to bitch slap myself, that's why)
after that, i'm going to sit in my mother's lap and point to her on the "word to your mom's" part and then on the "drop bombs" part i'm going to (get this) i'm going to pretend to be a bomb. and i'm going to curl myself into a little ball and then i'm going to EXPLODE!!!
i'm not really sure what to do on the "bible's got psalms" part. if you have any ideas please sign.
i know you guys all wish you thought of that.
the funniest part about this is that i probably will actually do it. and you know what's funnier than that? they won't even see the whole dance. see, i'm figuring the bad language might appall my mother so much that she gets up and leaves mid-interpretive-dance (which is very rude). then my dad will just roll his eyes at me and laugh while i make an incredible ass of myself, eventually he'll get up and leave too.
but then again, they don't understand english rap songs very well so there's a good chance they won't even catch the cuss words. i'm fucking brilliant!
no wonder i'm their favorite. what? i am! no really! i am.
so what if they moved once while i was in college and didn't tell me. they just forgot to let me know that they no longer lived in our old house. it's an honest mistake that can happen to anyone. sheesh.
you know the worst part though, i had friends with me. so of course they start saying, "well, gee annie, maybe your family is trying to tell you something if they moved and didn't tell you". HAR DEE HAR HAR! pick on the dork, sure. go ahead, have your laughs. i'll get my revenge. don't you worry.
Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park