August 02, 2002 - 9:11 am

okay i'm about 5'5 1/2" and weigh about 123 lbs. i just ordered a size six dress from a catalogue. did i make a mistake?

i've wanted this dress forever and for a long time they stopped offering it but they just recently started again AND it was on sale, so i thought "this is perfect! i can wear this when i go out with my boyfriend for his birthday". i remember i saw a girl wearing it at a gas station once and i couldn't stopped staring at her, it looked so good.

i figured i might be able to pull it off as well.

everyone at work is telling me i should have gotten a four. the problem though, is that they were out of size fours. which means i'm fucked.


when i ordered it the guy on the phone immediately started flirting with me. see?? it's that FREAKING CUTE! so i told him i was going to wear it for my boyfriends birthday and he even said "wow, you're a really good girlfriend if you're going to wear THAT on his birthday". see??? see, how cute the dress is???

except now i won't be able to wear it and i'll be so freaking sad that i'll just show up in my bathrobe and some curlers underneath a shower cap. IF I CAN'T HAVE THE DRESS, WHAT'S THE USE TRYING TO LOOK NICE!!!!

and you know what? i know exactly whats going to happen. i'm going to try the dress on and it's going to be a perfect length, it's going fall perfectly over my butt and be exactly as tight as i want it to be on my waist and then it's going to totally sag around my boobs, because i have no freaking tits! i should have just gotten the four, it'd be tight on my butt and waist but it'd be perfect on my boobs and believe me this dress was designed to call attention to a chest.

see, i'm a little malproportioned. i almost have a pear shape, but i'm not quite there yet (give me 10 more years okay). my boyfriend loves it because i have an abnormally large ass for someone my size.

see, he refers to himself as an "ass man" instead of a "breast man", and although he can write some great poems about my ass, i'm still fucked when it comes to buying dresses.

i shouldn't complain though, it's a damn good thing i found an ass man, if he were a breast man, he'd be mighty disappointed.

you know i normally have a pretty good self image. i luuuuuuuurrrrve being naked, but i just...i just,...I REALLY WANT THIS DRESS!!!

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