September 05, 2002 - 11:15 am

i'm really happy Kelly Clarkson won american idol. I hope that she can be the first good thing to come out of the great state of Texas since Selena.

************************************

I'm tired. I dont eat anymore. The best and most nutritious meal i've had in the last 3 days was a McCrispy Chicken from McDonalds last night. The next runner up was a plain veggie corn dog. After that the most complete meal was half a cinnamon roll and after that the most complete meal i had were 7 chocolate covered almond clusters. Everything else is coffee.

************************************

how do you know when you're co-dependent? how do you walk away from something that your mind is telling you will never work but your heart still secretly hopes will? where's the balance? what gives? how do we know?

************************************

everyone at works thinks i'm a lesbian. this bothers me. not because they think i'm a lesbian but because they think it's bad or wrong if i am. what the fuck is wrong with these people? here's the deal, homosexuality comes up when the women at work get all gossipy and giddy. one time one lady was telling a story about how "oh my god! we accidentally ended up at a lesbian bar! they were all looking at us and we were all 'we're just here to grab snacks, we're not like that!' and i said out loud "frankly, when i go out, i purposely go to a gay bar, same goes for clubs."

to be honest, i would much rather be flattered by an occasional check out glance from a woman than be annoyed by some sleazeball of a man grabbing my arm. these fucking prudes at work piss me off, they act like they are so prissy and sexually modest and as if women who are lesbians are just complete deviants. give me a fucking break, i bet these uptight women are more lecherous than most lesbians i know. fucking hypocritical bitches.

and what the fuck? why can't i stick up for homosexual people without having them label me one? people are so fucking ignorant. love is unique to everyone and how we approah it and who we approach should also be. love is NOT sex-discriminatory. i'm sorry i get so fucking heated about this topic so often but one of my best friends on earth is gay and has been through a lot. he's one of the most loyal and selfless people on earth, ON EARTH. you can ask anyone who know's him, even if they don't know him super well, they know that he would lay down his life for the people he loves. no one will ever utter one homophobic slur around me without me opening my mouth and telling them how i feel. i do this for me and i do it for roger; and i do it for any other person out there who has been discriminated against because of something they can't help, namely being who they are.

************************************

i'm excited about going to new york. flights and hotel have been purchased. it's for sure, now. all we need to do is get tickets for thoroughly modern millie, les mis, 42nd street and hairspray (i think). i can't wait. November 23-30, people! come meet me if you can!!!

************************************

i can't hide how sad i am today. three people have noticed it when i answered my phone.

************************************

i want darren jessee's phone number!!!!

************************************

one of my fish is dying. well, actually, i killed him. see i'm kind of a brat. i used to take such good care of my fishies and then they started jumping at my fingers when i fed them and scaring the bejeezus out of me. so i decided to teach them a lesson. (yes i realize how stupid that sounds NOW because they are only fish, but i was pissed). i would only feed them like once every 3 days and i let their water get down to like one inch.

well, blue raja is now dying. his little side fins have deteriorated. he just lies at the bottom of his bowl looking at me as if to say "you fucking bitch. look at me, lying here like a fucking invalid! i was just playing when i was jumping at your fingers. just playing! and you had to go and paralyze me for it. yeah, well....FUCK YOU!"

he's getting flushed today.

see, my other fish, Mr. Furious, he seems to be doing fine. i think he might have parasites but he's very active. he no longer flares up at my finger like he used to though. that's kinda lame.

************************************

i checked out that one bedroom apartment and was really pissed to see that they were calling it a one bedroom. the "living room" was smaller than my fucking cubicle!

************************************

i want darren jessee's phone number.

************************************

does anyone else out there know when it's time to give up on something? should you let yourself get to the point when your just apathetic about it and giving up is the same as giving in? or should you give up when your still passionate about it but feel like the battle is lost?

*************************************

i like karen a lot, she's now a freshman in college and she's doing the freshman thing. if you want to relive the laughter, anxiety, optimism and reality checks of freshman year, go visit her.

************************************

colin powell has come out and said that if we go to war with iraq, his political carreer will end with this term. he'll consider coming back for another term if we stay at peace.

i don't like colin powell much but i was happy to hear him say this. colin powell commands a lot of respect. having him come out and imply (i'm not giving him enough credibility to say that he flat out "said") that he doesn't agree with Bush's actions will mean something to a lot of people, i think.

************************************

Bush is getting hip hop. he was quoted using the phrase america "haters" in a speech recently. next thing you know he'll be saying "holla back youngin, woo woo!" to promote young people to vote.

he's pushing for literacy programs. go figure. i guess he can pretty much be our poster boy for that campaign, huh?

************************************

i've thought of some good moulin rouge quotes that are applicable to my relationship with my fishy. who's lying in his deathbed (waterbed? waterbowl?) as we speak.

"the fish i love is...dead."

"you expect me to believe that in an inch of water, with no food, suffering from old age, in a dirty bowl he was SURVIVING?"

"you'll be set in the toilet! the toilet? EXOTIC TOILET!"

"BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T FEED YOU!"

i think the last straw was last night when i looked at my fish and said:

"we have to end it. everyone knows. Roger knows. Sooner or later the Humane Society will find out too."

*************************************

i want darren jessee's phone number!

*************************************

renee zellweger was the next runner up for the roll of satine in Moulin Rouge. i'm really glad they went with nicole kidman.

*************************************

i'm going to try to convince my mom to come to Cuba with me over christmas break when i visit her.

*************************************

paul simon is one of my heroes.

*************************************

my bofriend is one of the most intelligent people i've ever met. but sometimes he can be kinda dumb. i'm sure he thinks the same of me though.

************************************

i get a kick out of jack handey's "fuzzy memories" books.

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.

- Jack Handey

If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not.

- Jack Handey

Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

- Jack Handey

It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.

- Jack Handey

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

- Jack Handey

If you get invited to your first orgy, don't just show up nude. That's a common mistake. You have to let nudity "happen."

- Jack Handey

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

- Jack Handey

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

- Jack Handey

Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.

- Jack Handey

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

- Jack Handey

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

- Jack Handey

am i weird because i think that these are absolutely hysterical?

Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park