September 13, 2002 - 10:09 am
sometimes i worry that i don't worry enough. as a person, i'm extremely resilient. i hurt and i get angry and i cry, but then i get over it.
one of the things that helps me get over everything is my sense of humor. although i feel very passionate about certain things and tend to take certain topics so personally and seriously that people think i'm some sort of politically correct freak, i laugh a lot.
am i naive if i think that everyone should laugh a little more?
i have this boyfriend that makes me laugh more than anyone else on earth ever has. just thinking about him makes my cheeks hurt.
cheeks on my FACE, people.
anyhow, as much as i like to discuss things that are important to me and things that i feel strongly about, in real life, it's only a matter of time before i make some stupid wisecrack in the middle of a "serious" conversation.
no matter what, my sense of humor surfaces. when my boyfriend and i argue, oftentimes it's all i can do to keep from laughing out loud. you know how every once in awhile when you argue with someone it gets so intense that one of you blunders (says something nonsensical or runs into a glass door) and then you both feel silly. i love that. it's almost like a reminder that things are being taken too seriously.
but then sometimes i get scared and think i should be more serious.
no matter what though, no matter how much i try, i still laugh. i still find things funny, its inevitable. sometimes other people make me feel like it was inappropriate to laugh and then i feel dumb and like a jerk.
but it was funny!
is there something wrong with me?
on another note, i've come to realize that the things i do to amuse myself have now become subconscious to me. it's one thing when you talk to yourself out loud, it's another thing when you say stuff purposely to make yourself laugh.
last night, for example, i had a burping contest with myself. i sat there and giggled for about 30 minutes doing this.
this morning, i busted out in a crazy ass dance routine in the elevator. that was after i jumped as high as i could as soon as the elevator started going up.
i do that all the time, the jumping in the elevators thing. i prefer to jump when the elevator is going down, but i do it when the elevator is going up too. except sometimes that hurts because you can land on your feet too hard.
it's all fun and games until your tibia shoots through your shoulders.
tonight natalie is driving to san francisco with her dude and her friend and her friends' dude. i'm not excited about the dudes or the friend but i'm excited about seeing natalie.
i am moving!!!
i found an apartment! okay, well so what if i'm moving to an upstairs unit in the same building, now i'm going to live on the 3rd floor!
you know what that means, don't you?
it means leaving windows open all night!!!
it means no more homeless people waking me up at 5:00am by digging through the dumpster conveniently placed next to my bathroom window.
it means no more loud parking lot people with their music blaring at 3:00am. well, actually, they're still going to do that. but I won't be right next to them anymore!
it means no more waking up to the loud ass leaf blowers on saturday mornings!
no more headlights shining in my bedroom window.
i have a bigger stove.
bigger stove=more room for baking cookies.
Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park