October 21, 2002 - 9:01 pm

no wait!!! please don't leave! i promise i'll update more!

i mean, i'll try to update more.


anyhow, one of my best friends, natalie, joined the airforce back in mid-april. i was so pissed at her for enlisting, i kicked her in the crotch and told her i hope she liked that because there's plenty more where that came from in the airforce.

actually, i hugged her and cried, but only sissies do that kind of shit and i've got a reputation to maintain.

anyhow, so natalie's mom calls me up on friday because she's in town and she wanted to go to "jamba juice or something".

so we chat on the phone for half an hour and i'm thinking "i really like nat's mom. i'm glad we're going out tonight".

well, as my friend jason would say "yeah, except the exact OPPOSITE!"

see, we did not go out. why?

because natalie's mom, instead, stood me up.

I FUCKING GOT STOOD UP BY MY BEST FRIENDS MOM. yeah, on a friday night too, was anyone out there more pathetic than me last friday? anyone? anyone?

(crickets chirp in background)

yeah, that's what i thought.

so i call natalie up tonight, not happy.

annie: dude, your mom totally stood me up on friday.

nat: what? did she call you?

annie: YEAH SHE CALLED ME. and she acted all sweet and like she was really looking forward to hanging out with me. then she stood me up.

nat: (laughing) i'm sorry.

annie: oh yeah, laugh it up. you don't have to worry about anything. it's not like my mom would ever stand YOU up.

nat: (trying to sound serious) i'm really sorry my mom stood you up.

annie: whatever. i mean, i don't care, or anything. it's not like she really meant that much to me anyway. she's kind of boring, you know. her loss. but i mean, like, why is she like this? like...how she is?

nat: thank you, claire danes. now shut up, and yes, i'm sure it was her loss.

so, as you can tell, i'm pretty close with nat's whole family. they did a really good job of taking me in as best they could when my family moved out of the country.

(no, they didn't get deported! sheesh! why does everyone think that? it had NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT! )

anyhow, one time her parents came over to help her move out of our apartment. so i decided to take her little brother Luke, who's 10 years old, swimming. he kept begging me to jump in with him and calling me a "chicken" because i didn't want to race him so finally i told him to shut up and jumped in.

i was in jeans and a t-shirt. yeah, i know, i'm a free spirit.

i then proceeded to drown the little shithead for trying to call me chicken. ha! who's the chicken now? what's that luke? what's that wittle-wukey? re-match? i'll kick your ass, ankle-biter!

-oh! and then another time, natalie and her other brother, ben, decided we should all go downtown. so her and ben piled into the pick-up and luke and i got into my civic and we drove 40 minutes through "the sticks" into "town".

town=the bustling metropolis of Redding, CA.

anyhow, me, being the amazing free-spirited, care-taker that i am. decided that luke and i should flip-off natalie and ben.

so i told him "on the count of 3 Lukey, 1-2-3!" and we both stuck our middle fingers out our windows and flipped off his older sister. (just as another car passed by).

i love nat with all my heart. she brings out the belligerent idiot in me and i'm truly grateful for that.

you see, i believe there is a belligerent idiot in all of us. it's that side of us that makes us act like total jackasses when we're drunk because we swear it's "cool".

for example, my 'belligerent idiot side' thinks its cool to get drunk and then pretend to be on 'fear factor' and eat raw pork brains.

some of us are better in touch with our "belligerent idiot side" than others, and that's okay. but to those of you who aren't, i'd have to say that you haven't lived.

biensoul is very much in touch with this side of herself.

in other news, my cousin gets married at circus circus in las vegas this weekend and i plan on forcing out the belligerent idiot in her.

but in the meantime, i'm going to go clean out my belly button. well, not for the whole meantime. gross.

Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park

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