October 23, 2002 - 10:25 am

there are things that i like, and things that i don't like. (heh, duh).

one of the things that i really don't like are dentists. i think dentists are the scum of the earth. i mean you must really have it in for people if you become a dentist. you must be some sort of sick sadistic mother fucker who loves the sound of people screaming in agony.

or maybe just the sound of me screaming in agony.

one of the main reasons i don't like dentists is because i also hate needles. now, i hear people say that all the time. "oh my god, i can't stand needles" and "oh, i hate getting shots".

give me a fucking break. it's people like these who make a mockery out my very serious needle-phobia.

see, i can actually vouch for it. the last time i was near a needle was about a year and a half ago when i had to get blood drawn for an anemia test.

i went into convulsions.

i'm not kidding. full on, bodily spasming.

the time before that, it was an HIV test. i told the nurse, "i really don't like needles". to which she responded, "okay, i'll be careful".


she didn't take me seriously and when my face went stone white and i started hyperventilating she said "wow, you really don't like needles do you?"


okay folks, let me just sum-up what happened again. i told her i didn't like needles, she said she'd be careful, i started hyperventilating and her first words of comfort were:

"wow, you really don't like needles, do you?"

now...if i hadn't been so fucking debilitated, i swear on everything that is holy in this world that i would have stuck a needle in her tit.

see, it all really started in junior high. anytime i needed some sort of vaccine, i would get it and then pass out.

pass. out.

i would faint and knock my head on the ceramic tile floor and everyone in my doctor's office would freak.

it was kinda nice to have everyone fussing over me for a bit, i mean i didn't feel a thing when i would bump my head so it's not like i was in any pain or anything. usually, the last thing i remembered was standing next to my dad. then i'd wake up and everyone would be talking about the crack they heard when my cranium hit the floor.

apparently that wasn't a pleasant sound. they would all be talking about it when i came to. whatever people, GET OVER IT. sheesh, some people are such sissy's. "oh wahhh, my name is big-fat-sissy-head and i can't stand a little skull cracking noise".


anyhow, the whole point of this entry is that one of my wisdom teeth has been hurting for the past two days.

(no i've never had my wisdom teeth pulled. i've deemed that societal practice comepletely unnecessary from a anthropological standpoint, and i applaud anyone who hasn't had their wisdom teeth pulled. and if any of you are thinking of telling me how dangerous it is to not get your wisdom teeth pulled and that they've made correlations between that and cancer, i say save it. i don't believe any of that stuff and more importantly i don't care) hee hee, touche, annie.

here's what i DO care about. i care about the fact that before i ever went to the dentist i saw Little Shop of Horrors a ridiculous number of times and the character of the "Dentist" was more scary to me than some mushroom-haired platinum blonde OR a man eating plant.

i'm going to call 1-800-DENTIST now.

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