January 21, 2003 - 11:06 am

every week my boyfriend comes up with a new song about my name.

nickname that is. it's "bean".

eli has this habit of adding -regard to the end of everything.

here i'll give you some examples. when we're driving and someone is going too slow, it's always "out of my way van-regard!" or "ahh, christ! move it cab-regard!".

hence, my name is bean-regard.

some other names he's called me.

pintobean

blackbean

beantastic

beanerrific

coffeebean

beantown

-oh and these are just the bean inspired names. there are many more.

so last week, my theme song was "beantastic" sung to the tune of that old Shaggy favorite "boombastic".

that's right.

this week, i'm back to being bean-regard. and the song is quite different. i can't remember the original but i know i've heard it before.

the lyrics are as follows:

bean regard (insert 4 quick farting noises here)

you are the cutest little bean-regard (4 more farting noises)

yes, that is my theme song this week.

i can't wait until next week. can you?

didn't think so.

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last night i made espresso at my house with my very own brand spanking new espresso machine!

that's right, it's NEVER BEEN USED!

and i've had it for four years now but who really cares about that.

anyhow, i called my aunt and told her thank you. she's the one who got it for me. she did't know what i was talking about.

auntie: espresso machine?

annie: yes, you got it for me for christmas, remember?

auntie: no, i got you lotion for christmas.

annie: you did?? awesome, when can i get it?

auntie: when you come and visit me. so who got you the espresso machine?

annie: YOU did. you got it for me for christmas!

auntie: annie, i don't know what you're talking about. i think you're confusing me with someone else.

annie: no, no, no. Christmas 1998, you bought me a KRUPS espresso machine. tonight i tried it and it works really well, i made a really good latte. i just wanted to say thank you.

auntie: yes! i remember. -wait, you just opened it right now?

annie: oh look at the time! i gotta go. thanks for the awesome present, tia!

click.

my housemate Bev, really likes coffee so i kept asking her if she wanted more because i wanted any and every opportunity to use my cool new machine.

she drank 3 latte's last night, all of them right before she went to bed. i don't think she turned the tv off last night.

later that night i had a dream that all my friends wanted me to make them espresso drinks except instead of using espresso, they wanted me to use doritos.

oh and in case any of you are wondering, don't open up the water container in your espresso machine while it's still under pressure. i know, i know, there's usually a little sticker saying not to do that or the water will explode everywhere. yeah, they're serious about that. its not just some advertising gimic, it's very true.

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tomorrow i speak in front of a school board again. i've been thinking about what i want to say and have come to the conclusion that my feelings would best be described through an interpretive dance to Tupac Shakur's "Changes".

what do you guys think? should i ask my boss if it's okay? i'll let you know.

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i need a new whip.

it works fine. eli likes it, but i don't know i just think its time to replace it.

it's over 14 years old, even though i've only had it for about 4 years.

it belonged to my parents before they gave it to me. i think they owned it for about 2 years before that.

yes, i need a new car.

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one time when i was a little girl. i found my dad's tic-tacs in the bathroom and i wanted to see what i would look like with a tic-tac in each nostril. so i put one in my right nostril and went to look in the mirror and accidentaly inhaled. yes, i had a menthol tic-tac go up my nose when i was 6.

it never came out.

that might explain a lot.

Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park