January 22, 2003 - 2:37 pm

I'm always blown away by fancy supermarkets. I'm amazed by the fact that some places are so blatantly designed for those people in the higher income tax brackets. i'm also amazed at what those people eat, but that's another story for another day.

see, where I come from, we have lower standards for what a "fancy" store is. For example, everyone was really excited when our KMart went from being a regular KMart to a Super K. My whole family attended the ribbon cutting ceremony.

okay, so that's not really true about my family attending, but if Super K would have been giving something away or having some sort of parking lot carnival, i'm sure we would have gone. so we're really not that far above it.

anyhow, my first encounter with a fancy store came about when i was 21 years old. i lived in davis at the time and a new supermarket had just opened on the corner of Pole Line Rd. and Covell Blvd.

The Nugget.

The nugget market was seriously one of the most beautiful buildings i had seen in my life. First of all it was a large one storey brick building with high ceilings. Reflective windows with aqua trim, i believe. lovely.

Between the huge windows hanging on the walls were statues.

yes, statues.

statues of women with full breasts wearing meager greek robes and holding out above their heads, large bowls of fruit; an offering to their gods.

natalie and i were unbelievably intrigued by this place and when we drove our busses past eachother on that corner we would smile and point at this wondrous collection for-sale comestibles.

we never went in. we thought they must charge admission.

finally, a friend of ours convinced us that we had to enter the Nugget Market.

"this supermarket, will free you" she solemnly whispered.

So we set a date, a Sunday afternoon, and went for the first time to the supermarket to end all supermarkets.

As in most supermarkets, the floor was ceramic tile. But this floor was incredible, i remember as if it were yesterday. The color was terra cotta however it was so shiny and clean that I could see my face in it clearly just by looking down.

as we entered on our left were the food stands; smoothies, panini sandwiches and sushi were among some of the food sold, need i say more.

the trash cans were like sparkly little upright silver bullets.

and the wine, -oh the wine! Such selection, such presentation, such a reminder of what a broke college student i was!

almost every cheese known to man, every marinade, every organic bread and every chutney.

I was in love.

and sure the store was a little more expensive than safeway but once i drove by and saw those statues, those sirens, beckoning me with large cement fruit, how could i resist?

"OUT, LUCIFER!!" i would shout in my car in my feeble attempts to resist this temptation, but it was no use.

put me in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights and you will find me exactly where you left me, sitting on my ass, wailing and throwing sand up in despair. unless, that is, satan is kind enough to make me an offer i can't refuse.

"first born? SURE! take it!"

just be glad I'm not the founder of christianity, people.

i succumbed. over and over again i succumbed to those damned statues and that hoity-toity food!

and i loved every minute of it and slept with the guilt.

(how obvious is it that i was raised catholic?)

so now, there is another store. an albertsons and i see myself getting entrapped once more.

while definitely not as fancy as the Nugget this albertsons happens to be in one of the ritziest communities of san francisco, known as seacliff.

but because i don't want to be going there every night, looking for something to buy i was a perpetrator of self-sabotage this past weekend.

it was roger's birthday and the albertsons was on our way to the chinese restaurant. sweta needed cash so we had to stop inside.

the first thing i see is one of those old people motorized cart thingees.

so i hop on.

hm, comfy.

heh, heh.

vroom, vroom!

watch out roger, i'm gonna run you ovvvveeeeeer.

but the stupid thing won't move.

i hear someone ask me if it works and without looking up i respond, "i don't know".

voice: hold on, let me go get chris

me: what the-?

roger: oh my god annie, get off, that was an employee.

me: eh, so what?

soon the employee and the man who i presume to be "chris" come back.

chris: alright what's the problem?

me: oh, nothing (still sitting on cart). i was just trying to figure it out.

chris: here let me help you.

me: no, really that's-

chris then reaches over to the control panel, while the other albertson's employee looks over my other shoulder.

Bev, my roommate turns around and rogers face turns red, as usual.

cart jolts forward.

chris: there we go!

me: okay thanks.

i got off the cart and was a little embarassed, but not too much.

but embarassment isn't the reason why i'm afraid to go back to the supermarket. see, i know if i see that cart in there again, i'm totally going to want hop on and do my grocery shopping on it. given my driving skills, i can easily picture myself knocking over a display of oreos thus branding myself a first class clutz as well as probably banning myself from the market forever.

so, instead i'm forcing myself to stay away for awhile. you know, just a little while, until i'm positive that i have some will power to resist the granny go-cart and live my life as a normal shopper.

Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park