March 22, 2004 - 10:33 am

Mum Jr., let me start off by saying that all of this was Eli's fault.

Friday afternoon started off typical enough. i got to work late and had a bunch of meetings with co-workers in which i attempted to convince them that i know and care about what i'm doing and am perfectly qualified for this job. they bought it! heh, heh, suckers.

so then young a-dizzle and eli start text messaging about going to a strip joint.

actually the plans were more along the lines of "hey, who wants to go check out the new jesus flick and then hit up a strip joint afterwards?"

can you fucking dig it? these are my friends! i'm so fucking lucky!

so after work we hit up 4th street for some drinks. two pints of cider and god knows how many cigarettes (once again, mum jr. the cigarettes are all eli's fault!) we're walking in to go see christ get fucked up, stocked up on drinks.

a-dizzle with some Colt 45.

Young Bean with some peach cider.

e-dog with some newcastle ale. ready for fucking action, literate bitches, ready for fucking action.

so movie starts and i start giggling because a-dizzle thought jesus of nazareth was whacking it in the forest.

i can't stop giggling for about 10 minutes, finally i calm down and the first thing i notice is that when he's not all bloody and shit, jesus is kind of attractive!

wait a minute though, that's only because i haven't gotten a good look at John. woohooo!! he kinda looks like Marc Anthony except not so chiseled and skeleton like. Hellooooooo, John!

he looked kinda latino i'm wondering if he can dance cumbia... of course we'd have to strip off those robes and those jerusalem cruisers and shine him up a bit, but there's definitely potential.

so for those of you who haven't seen the movie yet don't read the next sentence because i'm about to give it away.

in the end jesus gets nailed to a cross.

alright so movie is over and we cruise on over to get more drinks. a couple of shots later we head over to union square to see if eli's little sis, young kaffer is working and could maybe hook us up with a little bit more alcohol for consumption.

young kaffer is there but said bar is closed so it's over to tourist central at the Gold Dust Lounge.

it is exactly what you would picture it to be by the name, like something that may have existed in vegas in the 1970's and everyone who works there has been working there since.

guess what we did there? that's right, more drinks.

finally it's time to head over to the classiest strip joint you will ever find, the notorious MARKET STREET CINEMA.

(oh and by "classiest" up there, i mean "raunchiest").

i act cutesy with the guy who's taking our entrance fees and of course he lets me in for half off with a genial "have fun on your first time".

"thanks" i reply as innocently and sweetly as i can. i'm wearing a hot pink shirt that says popular and some jeans that do a great job of showing off my ass.

(but then again, which jeans don't? na'mean?)

so anyway, back to me and how goddamn cute i am.

i'm so goddamn cute, you wouldn't believe.

the first dancer comes out on stage. nice natural breasts and a cute ass enhanced by some extremely short jean shorts.

as she's walking down the catwalk she beckons me towards her.

now, being the fact that i'm a girl and i'm cute (did i mention, i'm cute?)my male friends had set me up for this. "they are going to pay lots of attention to you, bean. because you're a girl and because...

you're cute". that's right.

so i'm not too surprised when she puts my hands on her breasts.

i AM however a little surprised when she pulls up my shirt.

and a little more so when she pulls up my bra, exposing my boobs to all the hooting men on the other side of the catwalk.

and LASTLY i was a little caught off gaurd when she started licking my nipples.

but then i decided that i enjoyed it more than i was caught off guard.

so when she's through with me i sit down and start wondering. and things start clicking.

i like girls in addition to boys.


yes, i like girls too.

it was a night i'll never forget.

Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park

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