May 18, 2005 - 4:31 pm

Steve.

Steve is a co-worker of mine who I’m already sure is going to drive me batty. Therefore, for your reading pleasure I have prepared a list.

I call it:

Reasons Why Steve Will Drive Me Batty

Thus without further adieu, I will commence my list and I’m sure it will be added to every now and then.

1. Steve is a busybody.

He’s one of those people who you can’t have a conversation in front of without him assuming that his opinion/2 cents/point of view would be greatly valued. He does this in such a way that leads one to believe that he has no idea what words like nosy, intrusive, prying or meddlesome mean, or that they exist for that matter.

When I was talking Dot, the person who places the office supply orders about what I would like for my desk, Steve stopped by to listen in. I ignored him and continued my conversation with Dot. Steve stood there, listening, watching, waiting for his in. Finally, Steve interjected that I should use the (shitty) highlighters that we already have here. Let me remind you, dear readers, that NO ONE was talking to Steve at the time.

2. Steve is a glutton.

I apologize but it’s true.

Yesterday my sister joined me so we could walk down to Chinatown for Dim Sum. Steve (because he is a busybody) stuck his nose in our conversation and proceeded to look/sound wistful. Finally I asked him if he would like for us to grab him anything to which Steve prepared a list that INCLUDED drawings because no one at the Dim Sum place speaks English (I usually have a co-worker write my order down in Chinese then I hand them the slip). My sister and I split 3 vegetable pork buns and 6 shrimp dumplings. Steve ordered 6 shrimp dumplings, 6 BBQ pork buns, and 6 more Shoo-Mai. ALL. FOR. HIMSELF.

3. Steve is ungrateful.

After I lugged Steve’s 12 lbs. of Chinese delicacies back up the hill to where I work, I set them down (along with his change) on his chair.

Steve did not say ‘thank you’. Instead Steve, looked at his food and rubbed his pudgy hands together and said “Oh, this is going to be so great”.

To be continued…

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