August 08, 2002 - 11:07 am

i sit right next to the copy machine at work. well, not right next to it, but i'm about 10 feet away and even though my cubicle wall is between me and the machine, i can tell when anyone is making copies.

yesterday our copy machine broke. i mean, broke for real. it was making all kinds of horrible noises and the lead secretary kept calling my name and asking me for help. i was feeling lazy so i kept quiet and acted like i wasn't at my desk. the machine started off with just a paper jam but they kept forcing it and that's how it got worse and turned into this HUGE problem. it was making this horrible cracking noise when they pulled the paper tray out and everyone kept running over here to see what the problem was.

it was annoying as fuck, i mean, people, "THE COPY MACHINE IS BROKEN". they were acting like a bunch of idiots. i really wanted some peace and quiet and the head secretary just kept jamming this paper drawer in and out and making the most irritating sound on EARTH. but is that enough to make them see it's broken? oh nooooooooo, everyone has to have a try at jamming the stupid drawer in!

so today, after everyone in the office has finally accepted the fact that the copy machine is broken, i decide to be a pain in the ass.

i walk on over to the copy machine and notice that someone put the "broken" sign where you normally feed the paper that is going to be copied. see, i thought this was kind of dumb. instead of taping the sign to the machine, they left it where the original paper (to be copied) usually goes. so i start asking

annie: "who's original is this? it says 'please do not use, broken, will be serviced soon'? is someone done making copies of this? i think they forgot to take their original. does someone need me to run copies of this paper for them? i think they forgot about it. what were they running copies of this for? is something broken? why don't you guys just tape this sign to it if it's broken? what are you making multiple copies for? man, is whatever's broken so big that you think people might need more than one sign? is it really necessary to plaster 'broken' signs all over the place? hey, grace, do you know what's broken and why they were making multiple copies to put on it? because i don't want to try using something that's broken."

grace: "annie, the copy machine is broken. didn't you hear them talking about it yesterday?"

annie: "oh. yeah. i guess i forgot."

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