January 13, 2004 - 5:56 pm

Alright people.

since i know you all turn to me for political knowledge, i just want to let you all know that i'm supporting Carol Moseley Braun for President.

Given that there is no way she can win because:

1. She's black.

2. She's a she.

3. She's African American

I need to start looking for a new candidate. oh before you get all howard dean on me, know that i've already made up my mind to not support him for as long as i can.

i was digging Wes Clark for a bit, but today i got an email from Madonna endorsing him. yes, madonna. THE madonna. crazy, washed up famous lady who likes to speak in a fake accent and write about English roses madonna.

can i still support clark?

the answer is YES!

I cannot tell you how happy i am that he got a madonna endorsement. i know that there are a lot of people out there who don't even know who he is or where he came from but maybe it's time you start looking into that potential voters, don't you think? after all the material girl is endorsing the american son. aren't we curious?

because people in the US are stupid and they still like Madonna or any celebrity, that means that Wes Clark might gain some popularity now.

Look at my homestate for crying out loud! we elected arnold knowing nothing at all about him.

i'm so ashamed. we're so dumb. so here is my apology letter to the world.


Dear World (China in particular because i'll be visiting you in September),

I'm sorry about what happened with you and the U.S. I know at one point there were pretty noble ties among you and now it just seems that all that diplomacy we worked for has gone down the drain, especially since our most recent president.

in reality, i wish there was something i could do but unfortunately money makes the world go round and he's probably going to be in another term. just a warning. don't count on the american public to do what's right. we're not by nature a very smart people. you know those blonde jokes? well, substitute "American" and the jokes are still as effective. have a ball.

but i just want to let you know that even though i can't better your situation, i'm not like everyone else. in fact, living in san francisco, has been good for me because i'm surrounded by people who are not like everyone else. From now on, it would be much appreciated if you could refer to the U.S. as "Americans minus the san franciscans" whenever you say anything bad about us. if you don't i understand. i won't kill you, i promise.

please believe me though that many bay area residents (and various other peole as well)are genuinely embarassed. but, we also still have hope. hope that one day the rest of the country will be as enlightened as the bay area. hope that all conservatives will die soon (just kidding, sheesh).

Another thing i have to apologize for is the fact that i've been thinking about not having any kids a lot lately. i know, i know what you're thinking. You're thinking "anniewaits, people like you need to reproduce and start raising little liberals". i'm sorry, i just don't feel like i'm cut out to be a mother. despite all my liberal beliefs i'm still american and totally selfish. i would rather spend money on a new handbag than diapers. sorry.



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