October 08, 2002 - 11:00 am
this entry will be all about my ass and the asses of others, be forewarned...
"west coast j.lo", that's what eli calls me.
i don't think my ass is that big. but then again, i don't think j.lo's is that big either so maybe my idea of a big ass is a little skewed.
he's obsessed with it though. really REALLY obsessed.
he refers to it as "booty". now i know most people refer to a butt as "booty" but with my boyfriend it's a little different. with him it's more like "put booty on the phone" or "turn around let me say hi to booty".
you think i'm joking don't you. you don't think he really asks to talk to "booty" over the phone. you wish i was making this up. keep wishing.
he's decided that my butt is practically a separate being. he wrote a poem about it for chrissakes!
has he ever written a poem about me? no.
butt i'm not heart. (har dee harr harr, get it, "butt")
i just remembered that eli's mama reads this.
anyhow, my butt's okay. it's not hairy. i don't have zits on it or anything. i have a nice skin tone.
but i have to ask myself is it really worth all the attention it gets?
because it's not just eli. oh no. unfortunately that part of the poem he wrote with the security gaurds staring, yeah, thats true.
on more than one occasion i have walked past some people and then turned around only to see them looking. this makes eli angry and he shakes his fists and turns red and threatens to punch them in the 'snoot'. (it's the napoleon complex, i tell you)
i guess the butt makes up for the small boobies.
my last boyfriend, who rarely complimented me unless i asked him to, once said that it was as nice as a girl's that i pointed out on tv. i didn't believe him.
(i'm telling you, this girl on tv had a great ass,...er, yeah, and i'm also telling you, i'm not a lesbian)
right now, it's kinda small because i don't have a car and i've been having to walk all over the place.
i think Irulan from the real world has a great ass. a little small, but very pretty still.
btchelicious has a very nice ass.
i need more ass pictures, please put them in my guestbook.
i'm thinking (and eli, please refrain from peeing in your pants right now) that i might put a picture of my ass here. it will probably end up being my ass and eli on the side pointing to it and grinning proudly.
(once again, Hi Marlene!)
he sleeps on it. he says it's his favorite pillow. i'm not joking. it's a damn good thing i don't fart in my sleep, that's all i have to say about that.
obsessed, i tell you.
when he got his new digital camera, he couldn't wait to take pictures of my ass so that i could see "how great it is". i think he took about 2 pictures of my face and 73 of my ass.
anyhow, it wasn't that great. he kept saying that the lighting was bad but i think his eyes are bad.
actually, i know his eyes are bad because when we went to see La Boheme this weekend I had to whisper all the lines to him because he couldn't read the supertitles.
so that's it. problem solved. my ass really isn't that great, my boyfriend is just blind.
(in that case, nevermind. there will be no pictures of annie's ass on this website).
Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park