October 10, 2002 - 8:44 pm

i know it may seem difficult to believe given my recent and obvious lack of updates, but i have had some creative juices flowing lately.

so, in addition to going through absurd amounts of toilet paper (because my creative juices flow down there) i've put a lot of thought to my new diary name.

instead of being "anniewaits", i'm going to title it "everyoneelsewaitsforherlazyunproductiveasstoupdate".

but hey, i'm not the only one who's been a little slow on the updates. yeah, i'm talking to YOU. pfft, whatever heckaSTALE. (just kidding, honey. i'm going to go make out with that picture of your head i have as my wallpaper right now, okay?).

i'm in a great mood, i just talked to my mommy tonight. she told me about some program that my sisters are doing that is supposed to help them be more alert and learn more stuff. yeah, normal people call this program "coffee", but in costa rica, where my family lives, coffee goes down the natives throats like water. people pretty much start drinking coffee everyday at about the age of 9 months. around 2 years the addiction is evident to family members and friends but, as is commonly the case, not to the toddler. rock bottom comes at around the age of 7 and rehab follows. relapse comes about a year later. it's a vicious cycle.

okay, so i'm exagerrating a little bit.

but really, i think my mother put coffee in my bottles, that would explain why my growth has been stunted in some *looks down at chest* places.

so, back to this program my sisters are doing. it basically involves learning these memorizing tactics, eating certain foods, getting plenty of sleep, learning how to break down problems and all that bullshit that parents force their kids to do because they can't accept that their kids just might be dumb.

i'm sorry, that's really mean. my sisters aren't dumb at all. they just might have been at the more shallow end of the gene pool when the 'brains' were being poured in. no one told them that chlorine was being poured in at the same time as brains. see, they got mixed up and while i was swallowing all the brains, my sisters were...well, you can figure out the rest.

i've tried to tell my parents as sweetly as i could that they were only successful in creating one genius (that "one genius" being ME) but they claim that i'm obviously not as smart as i think and then they sit me down with a multiplication table (and NO CALCULATOR!) to prove their point. so unfair.

ANYhow, i also talked to my mom about my cousin's upcoming wedding at circus circus in las vegas. yes, i said circus circus. i don't want to hear it, shut it.

i'm really happy for my cousin, you guys. this dude seems like a really nice guy. of course, i've never actually met him, but who really cares? there's no reason at all why i shouldn't trust all the great stuff she's told me about him. it's not like her opinion of him is biased or anything. right? RIGHT! moving on...

i splurged and had lunch with roger on tuesday. i spent a whooping $5 on a hamburger and fries. believe it or not my mom got on my case about that. she said something along the lines of "how are you going to save up to fix your car and go to new york if you're going out to eat?" (i told her it was part of my "special diet" to help me study better).

so. yesterday while i was at lunch with roger he practically set himself up for me to embarass him. i'm not joking, he was soooooo wanting to be embarassed, begging me for it, really.

we walk into the restaurant and we both have to pee. i run into the chicks bathroom and he stands outside because the men's bathroom was occupied. i pee and get out and he's still standing there. with a bunch of other burly men who were getting refills on their sodas.

annie: just go in the girls bathroom.

roger: (clenching his teeth) noooo, i'm embarassed.

annie: oh my god! get over yourself! go! there aren't even any girls waiting to use it.

(burly/refill men hear me coaxing him)

roger: no

annie: you can take as long as you waaaaaa-aaaaaaaant.

roger: shut up.

annie: girls bathrooms are always cleaner than boys bathrooooooms.

roger: no really i can't.

annie: okay seriously. stop it. look i'll even open the door for you, just go.

roger: oh alright.

annie: (loud enough for burly men to hear) HA! SISSY!

see? he asked for it. it was too easy that time folks. almost not even worth writing about. almost.

Friday Bingo - Pigeons in the Park

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